It never ceases to amaze me how people decide to judge.
Adam and I are going to be living on different sides of the country. We are. This does NOT mean that we don't love each other. This does NOT mean that we put our careers first. This does NOT mean we put money ahead of our family. It may not be something that is right for your family and I totally understand that. Honestly. I understand.
Adam and I live our lives. Every single day we are each involved in the small details that make the moments we live become our lives. People can look at what we are doing and judge as a whole but they don't know all of the reasoning, the praying, the anxiety, the decisions and the promptings we've received.
I am not saying this to call anyone out. I am saying this because I have been on the receiving end of people judging me, my abilities as a mother and my dedication to my husband because of a decision we have made together as a family.
It's strange. It makes me wonder how many times I have judged someone rashly, too quickly, unfairly. There are so many times where I hear news and quickly say, "I would NEVER do that" or "What is she Thinking?" or "There would have to be another way. If I were her I
would _____________".
It's a great thing, really, my being on the receiving end. I need to have more empathy. I need to judge less harshly. I need to have more love and understanding for others.
It's good to have these humbling moments.....
10 comments:
Thank you for sharing this. We all need a "mirror moment" now and then. And I'm always for congratulating people when they MAKE a decision...sometimes that's the hardest part! So well done. =) And Jacob and I send prayers for strength! Just because something's right don't mean it's easy. I admire your bravery, especially in dealing with judgments.
I miss you guys.
Thanks Liz! It really was a great AHA! moment for me. I flashed back to the number of times I have made a snap judgement about people. It's amazing how much we all still have the ability to learn and to grow. Sometimes the growing pains hurt, but we turn out better for it.
Miss you too! I hope married life is treating you as amazingly well as you deserve.
That makes me so mad that people have thought that. They don't seem to know you guys very well! I'm glad you turned it into a learning experience though. I would just have been bitter about it. :)
Amen. ;)
Maybe I should read through all your posts before I make comments...
I am more than impressed with how things played out for your family. With sacrifice comes forth blessings.
More than likely we all have been on both ends of judging, and your post is a sweet reminder.
Seriously, I totally understand what you're saying. You should have seen some people in front of me and their looks at my kids on the plane ride home. No one will ever understand why you decide something, or do something, or what you're going through unless they have been there before. Says something big about the Atonement and empathy gained from going through the same thing.
I love you. This post is yet just another reason that you are one of my heros.
We are so excited for your new adventure! Hope things are going well so far!
Love you guys!
Wow! You wrote your own little ValueSpeak there! Makes me think there's actually some of my DNA in you! Seriously, Andrea, your point is excellent -- we all need to be reminded of how we make these snap judgements about the choices of others, and how ill-prepared we are to make those judgements. We are proud of you guys for making a decision together as a family, directed by the Spirit, and then sticking with it no matter how hard it is. We are also so glad you and Adam have this time together. We love you so much and pray for you every day!
Andrea - I am SO amazed at yours and Adam's strength in all of this. Good for you for taking your financial straights into your hands and doing what you KNOW is best for your family. I admire your situation and what you are going through. Do I think it sounds difficult? Of course but I couldn't be more proud of your family dedication you have to making it possible for Adam to get this degree. You know what's right.
Keep up the amazing work out there! Everyone in the world should be anxious and excited to see you sing!
Love to your family!
-Sed
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